“When is Caitlin being done with school how days you have left here?”
“One question at a time please.”
“Okay, when is Caitlin finished with school?”
“Two years I think.”
“How many days before you leave?”
“Well let’s count Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. So six days.”
“Do you really want to go to America?”
“Yes”
“Why?”
“Well I miss my family and my friends. What if you could not see your family for a long time wouldn’t you miss them?”
“I don’t know?”
“Of course you would. (Pause) Hey now are those tears for me?”
“Yes.”
“You know how sometimes I say don’t cry and don’t wine?”
“Yes”
“Right now is an okay time to cry.”
(Pause)
“Why do you look like that? Are you sad?”
“Yes. I am sad because you are sad. I don’t want to make you sad.”
“Okay wait a minute I am gonna tell you something.”
(Pulls himself together)
“Go live your life in America”
“Ok but you have to come see me and we can play Roxy, surf, and visit Caitlin.”
“Ok”
“And you know what else. Love is a very wonderful thing because it spans large distances, over mountains and oceans. So when I am gone and you are outside playing and you feel the wind on your face that is me telling you I love you. Ok/”
“Ok”
I went into my room and wept. I know its time to go but that breaks my heart. When I say I am leaving and he acts that way that’s when I feel I have failed. I feel like I am abandoning them. Maybe I am. God is not abandoning them though. That wind I talked about that will blow and kiss his face will be love but not mine. It will be the Fathers all encompassing love. That is where any love I have flows from. I am gonna miss that kid. I am gonna miss them all.
My friend sent me this verse and it has really comforted me recently. “From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. For in him we live and move and have our being.” Acts 17:26-28.
Ohhhh, J, my heart aches for Benny and for you. Please tell him that Caitlin's mom is keeping him and his family in her prayers and that. It is weird how after just one meeting with him he won my heart. I know it is easier to love from a distance when I am not there to see how difficult it is on a daily basis. Give Princess Peach my love to and tell her the same. I hope they will one day get to come for a visit as Iwould love for them to see what it is to see how we live and love our families. You have safe travel home. If you have a lay over in Atlanta give us a call.
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